Update: It's been awhile

Labels: , | at 2:08 PM



It's been awhile since I began this process, almost 2 months. It really doesn't feel like that much time has gone by, but WOW I guess time has flown. The good news is that I have made some solid progress!

I weighed in again yesterday and I am happy to say that I have finally hit my first big milestone! I'm less than 300 lbs now!!! It feels great to be able to say that! I have worked hard to lose my 14.4 lbs! And now the 100 lbs I have to go doesn't seem so scary. I've worked hard, hit some speed bumps, but kept moving quickly after I hit them! There has only been one week where I didn't lose a single ounce, but I blame that on the road trip I had to take that week to move my grandmothers back to Missouri. But the biggest accomplishment in this process so far is that no matter how hard I've fallen off the wagon o' dieting, I haven't gained back anything! I'm sure it will happen eventually. But I am confident that it will take a lot of badness to get me to do it, and right now, I'm willing to fight for my goals!

With the (almost) 15 lbs that I have lost, I have noticed some great changes. I now fit into a size smaller pant, and everything that has been tight on me before feels a lot more comfortable when I put it on! It's hard to look into the mirror and be able to easily tell a difference in my body/face, especially when I look at myself every day. But my friends and family say they can notice some changes, especially in my face. And that's what I like to hear!

Now my small goal for these next few weeks is to get through the show I am in without overeating. Show weeks have always been a struggle for me because I spend most of my time in the car, catching opportunities to eat whenever I can!

Something tells me I'll be fine!


So, until next time....



I'll leave you with a more current photograph, taken backstage this week!

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Week One Progress+How I got here

Labels: , , , , , | at 7:26 PM

Today is an important day. It marks one week on the Jenny Craig program, which means that I got to see how much I’ve lost so far. And as of about 8am this morning, I have lost 4lbs! It might not seem like much but it’s a healthy weight drop for one week’s worth of work. I haven’t really even changed my activity level yet, which I will admit is low. Altogether I plan on losing at least 114 lbs, hopefully more. I plan on doing this in 1 year, hopefully less!

I have to admit that I was hoping for a larger drop of weight for my first week, but considering I lost twice as much as I’m supposed to do in each week, I think I’m doing just fine. If I was able to lose 4 lbs by just changing to a healthier diet, imagine what I could lose when I really start to exercise!

So how was my first week experience?

I picked up my bodymedia armband today, and I’m already practically obsessed with it.

If you had asked me five or six days ago I would have done nothing but complain! I will be completely honest with you, I was a crabby bitch for two days while I was getting used to the change. But on day three I woke up and I didn’t think, “OH MY GOD get me some FOOD” right off the bat. I also stopped eating every two hours (small meals) and progressed to every three or more. The problem with my hunger level is that no matter what, as long as I’m on the Abilify (The medication that controls my bipolar disorder) I will CONSTANTLY be hungry.

And that’s how I’ve gotten here today. Before I started my medicine, I weighed about 200 pounds. It wasn’t a good weight to be at, and I wasn’t happy with it. But my weight was the least of my worries, especially when I was discovering my symptoms of the bipolar disorder. In a period of about a year, year and a half, I have gained over 100lbs. The reason why I gained so much so soon is that my medicine must trigger something in my brain that makes me constantly hungry, so hungry that my stomach aches or I even throw up when I don’t eat.

I can’t blame all of this on my medicine, though it’s a really huge factor. When I would eat I would eat foods that weren’t exactly comparable to apples and broccoli! I also never really work out or get exercise. Boo on me, I know.

At least I have decided to change. And this week has been a large step in the right direction!

I will definitely keep you all updated on my progress yet to come!

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"If I had a tumor, I would name it Marla"

Labels: , , , | at 7:05 PM

So I joined Jenny and am holding off the tailbone surgery for now, until I lose a lot of weight. I just can't go into a surgery without some kind of confidence that I WILL wake up when it's over. If I could put it off all the way, I would. But here's where it gets complicated...

This cyst is possibly huge and it's already affecting the rest of my health. A friend of mine talked to his doctor about my health. He told her about the cyst, but he also told her about my fainting disorder. He came back from the appointment and told me that this cyst, as I have said before, could have been growing inside of me since 1989. 19-freakin'-89! So now this thing is big enough to put pressure on everything down there, including my spine and the nerves around my spine. Guess what pressure on nerves around your spine can cause...FAINTING! The doctor told him, don't be surprised if I never faint again after I've had the cyst removed.
CURVEBALL!
It would be a simple decision if I didn't think that this thing could be the cause of pretty much every serious problem I've had in the last, oh...4 YEARS! So now I really don't know what to do. I really would like to get this thing taken care of ASAP so I could stop fainting. But I feel like I need to get as much weight off as possible before I risk my life, because the risk is lower with every pound I lose.

What to do? What to do?

Oh...and p.s. There's also a rare chance that this thing on my tailbone could also contain cancer.

I know that people say that God would never give anything troubling to a person who couldn't handle it. But really, I'VE HAD ENOUGH of the shitstorm.


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A turn for the worst; giving me a reason to change FOR GOOD.

Labels: , | at 3:17 PM

I recently went to my doctor, for a number of reasons, when something minor changed into something major. After listing off a number of problems, I just happened to mention that I had been noticing bleeding at the base of my tailbone. I didn't think much of it, perhaps it was a number of things (a zit, a cut, an ingrown hair) who knows...

After an uncomfortable examination, he told me that he was pretty sure that I had something called a pilonidal cyst on my tailbone. He didn't seem concerned about it at all, but referred me to a colorectal surgeon just in case.

So I went to the surgeon a week or two later. She examined me and explained that I did indeed have the type of cyst that my other doctor thought I had. The only thing is she took it a lot more seriously!
Apparently I've had this thing growing in me since I was born, and it's been getting bigger and bigger for 22 years. It's just gotten so big (possibly the size of a small orange...YIKES, right?) that it's starting to affect my health.

So no big deal, right, if it's just a cyst cut it out, right here, right now, and get me back to my life. YEAH, it's not that simple.

She then explained to me that although it would be a fairly simple procedure to do, on her end. Everything on my end could and would be complicated.

  1. "Because of [my] size" the healing time would be difficult, and could last for 3 months.
  2. "Because of [my] size" I am a high fatality risk in surgery.
Because they would have to put me under anesthetics and flip me over (with a breathing tube already in) I could die. And it's not just the small chance of death that's present in every surgery...but there's a large one.

As if this was not shocking enough, she went on to say that maybe I could get gastric bi-pass so I could get this done.

Believe me I cried and screamed when I left this woman's office. But instead of just lying down in a pity party, like I honestly usually would do; I've decided to change my life on my own, under (mostly) my own control.
I then made it very clear to my mom that she needed to drive me straight to the nearest Jenny Craig, because I was done having health problems.

The ladies at Jenny welcomed me with open arms, and I started their Metabolic Max program the next day.

From now on, I'm a changed person.
I plan on explaining in more detail, about my cyst and the problems it might be causing. But after I'm done with that I will be concentrating on the weight.

So, again, welcome. And thank you for joining me on my newest journey!

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MADabolic Max: Welcome Everyone!

Labels: , , , , , | at 2:45 PM

As a cry for as much support as possible I have started a new blog. The topic? Weight loss.

Why MADabolic Max? Because I have recently joined Jenny Craig's Metabolic Max program. I have started this blog because I wanted to do something that I could share with my friends from the internet and such, but I didn't think I could take doing something as public and personal as the youtube weight-loss community. Please be aware that I will most likely be posting blog entries here frequently, at least at first, because this whole thing has already been a struggle. I could really use your all's help and support with this because as I will explain later this is a matter of life or death. If you know of any weight-loss blogs that could contribute to the most healthy weight-loss possible, LET ME KNOW!

Thanks in advance,
Shan

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